Laws that Are Good for Us Aren’t Good Enough for Them

Last December I wrote of Sen. David Vitter’s lonely fight to make our elected panjandrums and their courtesans live under that same laws we do. You can find that column here.

As you might imagine this is very difficult because our “public servants” mostly consider themselves better than the public they serve.

Sen. Vitter believes in the principle that restaurant food is better if the cook eats it, too. And the same goes for legislation, although politicians don’t have to eat the bill — not even Nancy Pelosi needs that much roughage.

Just live by the laws they pass, like the rest of us do.

I interviewed Sen. Vitter last week and he’s making progress on requiring Washington to suffer under Obamacare, too, but even with a Republican House and Senate the struggle remains an uphill climb.

Complete details are here in my Newsmax column:

Informed Voters Are the Best Ethics Commission

When the family moved to Dallas, just prior to my junior year of high school, my parents enrolled me in Highland Park High School, an uppity establishment proud that “disposable income” was its middle name.

Relatives of one of my classmates tried to corner the silver market. I’m friends with a guy who owns a private island. A female classmate was the granddaughter of the founders of 7/11.

And I think another acquaintance’s family financed the Kennedy assassination.

Professionally I’ve known people wealthy enough to start foundations that — in contrast to the Clinton foundation — give away their own money. Yet in all that time not one of these plutocrats has seen fit to give me a $6500 watch or take my wife on a $15,000 shopping spree.

But then I’ve never been elected governor either.

New job, instant new friends. What a dilemma. Details on the problem and handy guidelines on how politicians can avoid jail are in this week’s Newsmax column:

Government Phone Trees from Hell

I’ve always admired my fellow citizens whose unquenchable optimism leads them to expect to get help when they call a government complaint line.

For me, the term government “complaint line” always creates suspicions regarding sincerity. I can’t help but recall the bumper sticker I once saw on the back of a truck careening through traffic on the Beltway: Don’t Like My Driving? Call 1–800–EAT–S*#T.

I just assume that’s the response I’ll get when calling Uncle Sam, too.

And it will be if you call the IRS for help this tax season, since they are cutting back on “customer service.” But we’re just greedy taxpayers and not people coming here as Jeb Bush says in “an act of love.”

Once their eyes adjust after coming out of the shadows, illegals will be able to call up to three complaint lines including: Customs & Border Patrol, Immigration & Customs Enforcement; and Citizenship & Immigration.

If you’d like to know the cost to install a fourth line for taxpayers incredulous over this waste of money then you need to read the rest of my Newsmax column at:

By Executive Order Obama’s White House Is a Reality–Free Zone

During Nixon’s final months in office many in Washington and the media were worried about what might happen to the country since we evidently had a paranoid mental case with his hand near the nuclear button.

Today the occupant in the oval office is evidently delusional, but since Obama shares the fantasies of the Left the MSM isn’t worried and in fact supports him.

Obama’s 2015 budget is the latest evidence of his mental health crisis and show how far gone he really is. Details in my Newsmax column:


The Only Fat the Federal Government Recognizes Is on Your Behind

The National Institute of Heath functions as sort of a Job Corps for academic researchers that specialize in the trivial. Since the public continually fails to live up to the expectations of our betters in Washington, DC more research is needed on how to improve us. Willingly or not.

While one arm of Big Government is busy fighting ‘hunger,’ the NIH has opened a second front on obesity. Most conservatives would think both problems can’t exist simultaneously, but we don’t have tax dollars burning a hole in our pocket.

Complete details in this week’s column:


Lunch is Finger Lickin’ Good at the National Weather Service

Does your boss supply you with knives, forks, spoons, plates, cups and napkins when you eat lunch? (Fast food employees may feel free to stop reading now.)

The National Weather Service employees serving on the front lines at Fort Climate are angry because Uncle Sam stopped. Who has time to remember the cutlery when you’re fighting “Climate Change?”

Naturally the union filed a grievance, a process where taxpayers again foot the bill, but we are off the hook for place settings.

Complete details in my Newsmax column:

Pentagon Buys a $400 Football

We’ve been treated to months of dire speculation and military hand–wringing regarding the impact of the sequestration’s budget cuts on military readiness and how it leaves the U.S. vulnerable. A private business with declining revenues and a bleak future would cut the ad sponsorship of football bowls and spend the money on higher priorities. The executives could watch the game on TV.

In the government the football sponsorship budget is protected so the brass can be seen on TV.

Even if money wasn’t tight the spending makes no sense because the military is downsizing. IBM doesn’t run recruitment ads when it’s laying off part of the workforce. It’s bad for morale among survivors and an insult to those looking for work.
Evidently the Pentagon is simply oblivious or could care less.

Complete details in this week’s Newsmax column at:

Now Taxpayers Are Subsidizing Sexual Fantasies

If a man walks in the bathroom and sees Napoleon starring back from the mirror as he brushes his teeth it might be a harmless idiosyncrasy. But should he go into the French Embassy and loudly demand the emperor’s back pension checks a nice man in uniform would take him for a mandatory mental health evaluation.

If that same man saw Marilyn Monroe starring back as the Crest dribbled down his chin the situation would be entirely different.

All he has to do is buy pants that zip up the side and an entire psychosis–enabling industry springs into action at taxpayer expense. Under Obamacare insurance companies are being forced to pay for “gender reassignment surgery” — as if reproductive organs can be swapped out like a bad carburetor — and now Medicare is required to cover body vandalism because our government is incapable of distinguishing between legitimate health goals and dangerous delusions.

Medicare wouldn’t pay for my steroid injections if I thought 18” biceps were lurking just beneath the surface in my upper arms, so why should taxpayers be on the hook for surgery that essentially installs a kangaroo pouch on men?

What’s more, body vandalism on the taxpayer dime is expensive!

Male–to–“female” operations cost approximately $25,000 and the reverse female–to–“male” quadruples that at $100,000. I’m guessing the discrepancy in surgery charges is because clear–cutting is cheaper than construction. Or maybe $100,000 is the maximum charge from a sliding scale based on the size of the finished product: The “Obama” being much cheaper than the “Putin.”

Complete details on this latest outrage to the taxpayer wallet are in my Newsmax column at:


Why the Widget Method of Evaluating Congress Is a Leftist Plot

Conservatives don’t want Congress to do more to control control our lives, they want Congress to govern and that’s a big difference. In the country’s current state a Congress that governed wisely would be analyzing previously passed laws and repealing the counter–productive, the wasteful and the unnecessary.

So why do many conservatives, and worse conservative media outlets, use a measure designed by the Left to evaluate the productivity of Congress?

It’s time to change how we evaluate Congress. Complete details at (incidentally, ignore the Newsmax headline, it has almost nothing to do with the column):

How GOP Elitists Are No Different from Democrat Elitists

You may not have realized just how special Members of the House and Senate really are. Oh, you know about the fawning aides, exotic “fact–finding” junkets and free limo lease. But are you aware that Republicans in the House don’t think they should be subject to the same laws that dominate our lives?

They have the bizarre idea that saying publicly you oppose Obamacare means elected officials have done all they can and should be exempt from the law in the future.

I say their failure to defeat or repeal Obamacare means the baleful effects of the law should be doubled for them as an incentive to get off their behinds and defeat Squeaker of the House John Boehner and repeal Obamacare.

Complete details are in my Newsmax column: