The Only Fat the Federal Government Recognizes Is on Your Behind

The National Institute of Heath functions as sort of a Job Corps for academic researchers that specialize in the trivial. Since the public continually fails to live up to the expectations of our betters in Washington, DC more research is needed on how to improve us. Willingly or not.

While one arm of Big Government is busy fighting ‘hunger,’ the NIH has opened a second front on obesity. Most conservatives would think both problems can’t exist simultaneously, but we don’t have tax dollars burning a hole in our pocket.

Complete details in this week’s Newsmax.com column: http://tinyurl.com/l2kuufx

 

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Lunch is Finger Lickin’ Good at the National Weather Service

Does your boss supply you with knives, forks, spoons, plates, cups and napkins when you eat lunch? (Fast food employees may feel free to stop reading now.)

The National Weather Service employees serving on the front lines at Fort Climate are angry because Uncle Sam stopped. Who has time to remember the cutlery when you’re fighting “Climate Change?”

Naturally the union filed a grievance, a process where taxpayers again foot the bill, but we are off the hook for place settings.

Complete details in my Newsmax column:

http://www.newsmax.com/MichaelShannon/U-SCommerce-Department-Dan-Sobien-National-Weather-Service/2015/01/22/id/620109/

Pentagon Buys a $400 Football

We’ve been treated to months of dire speculation and military hand–wringing regarding the impact of the sequestration’s budget cuts on military readiness and how it leaves the U.S. vulnerable. A private business with declining revenues and a bleak future would cut the ad sponsorship of football bowls and spend the money on higher priorities. The executives could watch the game on TV.

In the government the football sponsorship budget is protected so the brass can be seen on TV.

Even if money wasn’t tight the spending makes no sense because the military is downsizing. IBM doesn’t run recruitment ads when it’s laying off part of the workforce. It’s bad for morale among survivors and an insult to those looking for work.
Evidently the Pentagon is simply oblivious or could care less.

Complete details in this week’s Newsmax column at:

http://www.newsmax.com/MichaelShannon/Military-Spending-NFL-Pentagon-Taxpayers/2015/01/16/id/619034/

Now Taxpayers Are Subsidizing Sexual Fantasies

If a man walks in the bathroom and sees Napoleon starring back from the mirror as he brushes his teeth it might be a harmless idiosyncrasy. But should he go into the French Embassy and loudly demand the emperor’s back pension checks a nice man in uniform would take him for a mandatory mental health evaluation.

If that same man saw Marilyn Monroe starring back as the Crest dribbled down his chin the situation would be entirely different.

All he has to do is buy pants that zip up the side and an entire psychosis–enabling industry springs into action at taxpayer expense. Under Obamacare insurance companies are being forced to pay for “gender reassignment surgery” — as if reproductive organs can be swapped out like a bad carburetor — and now Medicare is required to cover body vandalism because our government is incapable of distinguishing between legitimate health goals and dangerous delusions.

Medicare wouldn’t pay for my steroid injections if I thought 18” biceps were lurking just beneath the surface in my upper arms, so why should taxpayers be on the hook for surgery that essentially installs a kangaroo pouch on men?

What’s more, body vandalism on the taxpayer dime is expensive!

Male–to–“female” operations cost approximately $25,000 and the reverse female–to–“male” quadruples that at $100,000. I’m guessing the discrepancy in surgery charges is because clear–cutting is cheaper than construction. Or maybe $100,000 is the maximum charge from a sliding scale based on the size of the finished product: The “Obama” being much cheaper than the “Putin.”

Complete details on this latest outrage to the taxpayer wallet are in my Newsmax column at:

http://tinyurl.com/phynyap

 

Why the Widget Method of Evaluating Congress Is a Leftist Plot

Conservatives don’t want Congress to do more to control control our lives, they want Congress to govern and that’s a big difference. In the country’s current state a Congress that governed wisely would be analyzing previously passed laws and repealing the counter–productive, the wasteful and the unnecessary.

So why do many conservatives, and worse conservative media outlets, use a measure designed by the Left to evaluate the productivity of Congress?

It’s time to change how we evaluate Congress. Complete details at (incidentally, ignore the Newsmax headline, it has almost nothing to do with the column):

http://www.newsmax.com/MichaelShannon/John-Boehner-Congress-EPA-The-New-York-Times/2015/01/02/id/616082/